In Acts 9, Paul is threatening the church, and gets letters so that he has legal permission to arrest these new followers of the way and bring them bound to Jerusalem. He is on a self-righteous crusade against what he feels is a threat to Judaism.
Then, on the way to Damascus, BAM! He is stopped in his tracks. He is surrounded by light. Light is a great symbol in the Bible, and even to this day. When someone learns something, it is said that they are enlightened. In cartoons, when a character has an idea, a lightbulb turns on. Light was a symbol of good in the darkness, and direction in the darkness, and new ideas.He is blinded by the experience, and then sits in Damascus for three days, waiting for another message from the Lord.
What is going through his mind at this time? Can you imagine the regret and guilt he must feel? If Jesus is Lord and the Christians are right, then he has killed some of them and made many others suffer. That is not to mention how freaked out he must feel about seeing that light, or the grief of losing his sight. Furthermore, if he does follow Jesus, then it is likely that other Pharisees that he associated with try to have him killed. He may also be afraid.
This man with so much power is now a person with nothing. The strong has been made helpless. For three days after seeing the light, Paul sits in darkness. Then Ananias comes, and scales fall from his eyes, and he is given his sight again.
There is a difficult spiritual truth in here—that blindness often precedes the clearest of vision. Things get fuzzier before they get clearer, like trying to get binoculars on the right setting.
Have you ever had to get your eyes checked? You get a puff of air in your eye, then a guy or gal gets uncomfortable close to your face, then they put on this big apparatus on your face and ask you if it is better like this or like this. Your eyes are watering, and you are nervous you are going to mess it up and get giant glasses, and you are uncomfortable in the dark. Then you get new glasses and you are like, “I can see. I had no idea my old glasses were that bad.”
Following God’s will is often like that. You decide to follow God’s will, then you get a puff of air in your eyes and everything is fuzzy. You are blind and are not sure where to go. What God is trying to do is get you to trust him and to prepare you for what his will is going to be.
I have seen too many people decide to follow God’s will, then, when it gets fuzzy, they quit. We seem to want everything to be clear. To have all the answers.
You need to understand that the most important part of following God’s will is not, I repeat, not about knowing exactly what God’s will is. What is more important is to desire to do God’s will. You can trust that God will make his will clear over time. God will honor your intent to follow, and God can orchestrate things. It is not about knowing. It is about confessing him as Lord, just as Paul does in the blinding light, then do whatever is revealed to you next.
As Psalm 119 says, God’s word is a lamp to your feet and a light to your path. Frankly, that is not a lot of light. It is only enough light for the next step. From there you will be able to see the step after that.